"Doctor! Doctor! Give me the News!" Not a Lecture!

On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to take all of my children to the doctor for their physicals.  All at the same time.  Holy Cow!  While this was a blessing for my schedule; it wreaked havoc on my sanity.  The appointments were scheduled back-to-back beginning at 9:20 a.m.  I arrived at 9:27, albeit late, but still within my "military approved" 10 minute "grace" period.  The gal at the desk took my ID and had to "check with the nurse" to see if they would still see us due to my tardiness.  This about sent me over the edge right out of the gate.  These days, if I am less than 15 minutes late to anything, I feel as though I am early.  Getting four children out the door and 25 minutes away at that time of day to arrive only 7 minutes late was nothing less than a small miracle if you ask me! I reminded the receptionist that since I was also the appointment after their 9:20 and the appointment after that, that really, I would only be making myself wait, and reassured her that I didn't mind. :)  She left to discuss matters with the nurse and returned to inform me that they would graciously allow us to be seen.

We then were ushered to the room by two nurses who were, in effect, tag-teaming us.  One took Asher to the scales, while the other led me to the room with the girls.  I was instructed to undress Frankie to her diaper, and the baby too.  I had to nurse the baby during this whole time because the appointments coincided with her next feeding.  As I was nursing Eva, with Soph sharing my chair and reading a book while Frankie explored the room in her diaper, the nurse asked me to fill out a postpartum depression questionnaire.  I politely explained that I had just filled out THE EXACT SAME SURVEY the week before at my six week checkup.  She said, "Yes, and you must fill it out today and at Eva's four month appointment."  I explained that my status had not changed and that the answers would be no different and since I was currently BREASTFEEDING for goodness sake's could I decline the survey.  She was visibly perturbed and showed me the line to initial that I chose to decline it.  At this point the other nurse returned and they were both firing questions at me.  How often does she eat?  Can he jump on one foot?  Does she take a pacifier or suck her thumb?  Does she know at least 3-5 words?  Can he draw a stick figure?  Has he seen a dentist?  Do you lay her to sleep on her back?  I was answering as quickly as possible and struggling to keep track of which child they were talking about.  They took all the kids' vitals and then we were told to wait for the doctor.

She entered, and quite frankly, I hardly even remember their "exam."  If memory serves, it equated to a checking of the eyes, nose, and ears and a listening of the heart with a quick peek in the "diaper area."  Frankie has a runny nose because she is teething, so I got a speech about how to treat a cold.  Thanks Doc!  And then I got a lecture about allowing Eva to sleep through the night.  According to the doctor she was "getting a little long and lean."  Her length percentile (75th) was much greater than her weight percentile (25th).  Mind you she has gained more than 2 pounds in the 8 weeks of her life outside my womb, currently weighs almost 10 pounds, has been consistently "thriving," and is completely healthy, but for some reason this was a sticking point. Why do I care what percentile she is in??  All that is, is a comparison of how my baby girl stacks up against all the other babies in the nation (over 30% of which are considered overweight or obese by 9 months of age).   I was told that if I was going to let her go "so long" at night without eating (a whopping 7 hours) that I needed to wake her to feed her every 2 hours during the day.  Eva is a poky eater, much like my Soph was.  So this would mean that after nursing, burping, and changing her and giving her some "awake" time (I am a "Babywiser" to the core!!)  that she would have a grand total of approximately 30-40 minutes to sleep before I would have to wake her to feed her and do it all over again.  Um, Doctor?  NOT HAPPENIN'!  That is hardly enough time to feed and wipe the rear ends of all the other children that I have!  I just nodded and said, "Okay," knowing full well that I had no intention to do as I was told.

For real?  This doctor must not have children or else never stayed at home with them and nursed them. Right?!  Am I crazy?  Don't answer that. :)  Perhaps our time could have been better spent actually giving the children their physical examinations rather than giving their mom a lecture, you think?!  I didn't take the time to point any of this out, as I am pretty certain it would have just fallen on deaf ears and because I also needed to visit the lab for blood draws, the pharmacy for prescriptions, and the immunization clinic for shots, and because I didn't want to have to feed the baby a second time in the medical building.  I just agreed to everything, except taking the survey, and went on my merry way.

I could go on and on about this experience, but would rather go to bed because MY BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! Sweet dreams! :)