Sunday, June 5, 2011
Hurry Up and Wait!
It all comes down to this. The final days before we officially become a family of 6. We have welcomed Zach back from deployment, thrown a Major promotion party for him, and celebrated Asher's 4th birthday all in the past few weeks. I have spent the past few days washing 0-3 month clothing for our new baby girl, preparing her bassinet, and inventorying and cleaning all appropriate and necessary baby gear. Her diaper bag is packed and my suitcase is on its way there as well. My in-laws are in town to be here to care for our other 3 children when the time comes to go to the hospital. Zach is in "the baby box" at work and will fly his last local sortie tomorrow and then remain in the office fulfilling administrative duties until "the big day." Months of anticipation and preparation culminate into days of waiting. I am increasingly uncomfortable and enormous. My doctor appointments are now weekly and we could meet our daughter any day. I can't get "too far from home," and I am supposed to "take it easy," which is virtually impossible to do with three children ages 1, 4 and 5, but we are all doing our best to enjoy these last few days of our family as we know it. My days are tiresome and my nights virtually sleepless. I am exhausted, but between contractions, frequent trips to the bathroom, and hormone-induced insomnia, sleep escapes my grasp more than I would like. I always get irritable and impatient in these last few days. I am excited to meet our new daughter and downright sick of being pregnant. So, I wait. I time my contractions and inevitably lose track as my mind wanders to thoughts of labor or what she will look like. It is weird and impossible to describe to those who have never experienced it how one can dread and desire the same moment all at once! Labor is the necessary evil I must go through to get to the amazing miracle of my next child. I know some people say it wasn't "that bad" or will simply default to saying they don't really remember it, but I am here to tell you, it hurts. Bad! And I would never be able to forget pain that intense. It is called "labor" for a reason. It is work. Otherwise, I would be going into "vacation" or "relaxation" to have this baby, but I am not. I am going into labor. In fact, I am already in labor, early labor, so, so far, it truly isn't "that bad." However, I know it will get worse. But then, just when I think I won't be able to endure it any longer, it will get better. Better than I could have ever imagined. I cannot wait to hold that amazing little miracle! Hurry up and get here! But take your time if you need to little one. We will be here on the other side to love you more than we could ever imagine. I can't wait to hold you for the first time and hear your first breaths of life. But, for now, I will hurry up and wait...some more.