Confessions of a Sleepyhead

"My name is Katie and I am not a morning person."

"Hi Katie."

Sometimes I feel like this confession is my dirty little secret, especially as a mom.  But I am here to tell you, I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.  I am a night owl.  I can get so much accomplished in the midnight hours with no one and nothing around to distract me. It is about the only time I can get any time to myself.  I clean the house; I do laundry; I talk on the phone and I waste time on the computer.  I stay up far too late and then despise getting out of bed in the mornings.  I always have.  As a high-schooler, my dear mom would wake me up every single morning with her soft tone and gentle smile.  She would have a night light on in the bathroom for me so I didn't have to shower in the "harsh" overhead light.  I would return to my room with a made bed and my bedside lamp on.  I was so spoiled!  I didn't wake up to an alarm until I went away to college.  As a teacher in my early 20's, I slept until the last possible moment and arrived at school with moments to spare sporting wet hair that was placed in a ponytail or wrapped around pencil in a french twist"ish" bun by 2nd period when it had air dried.   When Zach and I were newlyweds, he drove me crazy in the mornings with his perky positivity.  One day he lovingly said, "Honey, mornings aren't going to go away."  To which I snapped, "I know, but we don't have to celebrate them!"  Now, being a mom with young children, there are very few nights that I get uninterrupted sleep.  It seems as though I am either feeding a newborn, soothing a teething baby, aiding a potty-training toddler, calming fears from bad dreams, nursing fevers or other ailments, etc.  I have been sleep deprived for the better part of a decade, and that does little to help my already firmly in-place dislike of mornings.  

Now, with school-aged children, I am responsible to not only get myself up in the morning, but to get them out the door in a timely manner.  They need to have a calm and consistent start to their day. This is something that I still struggle with especially since I refuse to go to bed early or can't ever seem to despite my best intentions.  There are those moms that somehow manage to get up well before anyone in the house and get themselves ready for the day before greeting their family in true Beaver Cleaver fashion, but I will most likely never be one of those moms. [If you are one of those moms, my hat's off to you!  You can stop reading this post; you don't need it. :) ] In the past week, I have had a handful of friends comment about the chaos morning brings to their home on their Facebook page or ask how to get their kids on their way in the mornings.  This confirms for me that I am not alone in my struggle.  I don't claim to have all of the answers, but I thought with so many friends sharing in my struggle, I would pass along a few bits of advice that have helped mornings become a bit more sane in our house. 

• Do what you can the night before.  I usually set out the kids' clothes for the next day.  I make sure they have what they need in their backpacks, i.e. library books, gym shoes, etc.  I often pack lunches the night before (unless I am making Soph her favorite turkey and mayo sandwich because it gets soggy and that's just gross).  Zach usually preps the coffee the night before for me since he knows how much I detest mornings and how much I adore my morning java! When he is flying, I do this for myself.  Side note- If you are a coffee drinker and don't have a coffee pot with an auto setting, get one! 
• Have clear morning expectations.  I expect Soph and Asher to dress before they arrive at the table for their breakfast.  They know this is their responsibility.  This allows me time to deal with Frankie and Eva and get them to the table for breakfast too.  Sophia and Asher are old enough that they can dress easily since we have set their clothes out the night before and they know what they are wearing.  They know they are to eat and then brush their teeth and comb their hair (if they didn't already do this when getting dressed).  It is their responsibility to get their backpack and lunch to the car.  They don their shoes and coats and we are on our way out the door.  
• Don't save tasks for the morning.  Get homework finished the night before.  It seemingly never works to have time to finish things in the morning. We simply don't seem to wake up early enough or have the time.  Saving work to be finished in the morning just creates stress and anxiety for everyone whenever we do it so we don't.
• Teach the children to occupy themselves in their rooms until a certain time.  Once kids are old enough to know their numbers, tell them not to leave their rooms until there is a 7 in the first place on their clock for example.  They even make "stoplight" clocks that have a green light or a red light letting the child know when they can get up and out of bed.  Asher has always been an early riser, but he knows that he is to stay in his room and play until 7:00.  I wake almost every morning after him to find him dressed and playing Legos in his room. 
• Don't allow the children to sleep past a certain time.  You know how long you need to feed everyone breakfast, get dressed and get out the door, so don't let your child sleep into the time he or she will need to do that.  While Asher is our early riser, Soph is our sleepyhead.  I know I have to wake her by 7:20 or she won't have time to get ready, have her breakfast and be out the door on time. 
• Keep things in the same place to avoid the morning scavenger hunt.  My kids know that they keep their backpacks in the laundry room.  They know exactly where to get them when it is time to leave.  Their shoes are in the shoe basket right by the door, and nowhere else.  Their hats and gloves are in the baskets of a bench we have in the entryway.  This helps reduce last minute scrambling to find things. 
• Give rewards for good mornings.  Whether its a sticker on a chart or a little treat after school, I find that providing positive reinforcement for getting out the door in the mornings efficiently is very motivating for the kids.  They self correct when they find themselves getting distracted in the morning time because they want that reward, they learn personal responsibility for getting ready, and they stay motivated to make good time management decisions in the before school time at home.
•  Don't beat yourself up with guilt if you aren't an early riser. If you simply can't find the energy or desire to celebrate mornings, that's okay.  Lord knows I can't!  I had to let go of the guilt that I am not chipper in the morning like my mom was and that my kids often wake up before me.  I'm not a bad mom because they may wake up 20 minutes before I do.  Stop putting pressure on yourself to be like "those moms" that seem like they are put together by school drop off.  I'm sure they suck at something else that you rock at anyway! ;)  Some mornings I am showered and dressed at school drop off, but most mornings I am wearing yoga pants and one of Zach's sweatshirts and have mascara smeared under my eyes from the day before. Who cares.  I do a lot of other stuff really well, mornings just don't happen to be one of those things.

Hopefully some of these tips will resonate with you and help make your mornings easier.  We are still tardy to school about once a week due to unforeseen and unavoidable setbacks (For example, Eva poops her diaper as we are preparing to leave and I have to change her, the ice scraper breaks as I am clearing off the car-this just happened last week, Frankie opens her sippy cup and dumps juice all over- this also happened recently, and the list goes on) but we do our best. Sometimes my best is sleeping until the last possible minute I can and dumping cereal in a bowl for everyone; sometimes its getting up at 6:00 and preparing a breakfast feast for everyone, but its always my best.  And my best is good enough.  So is yours!  Having a routine helps me not be the crazy, yelling, beast of a mom that rears its ugly head when we don't follow the routine.  Having a consistently calmer and less stressed start to the day will do everybody's body (and mind) a lot of good! 

Eastbound and Down

I haven't blogged in ages, okay, months, but in social media time, that's like 12 years or something close to it.  As most of you know, we have moved. I guess, technically we are still moving.  We know the general location of our destination, just not the exact mailing address yet.  So, while some might say we are homeless, we like to say we are on an extended summer vacation, which explains in part, the lapse in my posting.


In an effort to completely complicate things even more so than necessary, we did a full DITY move rather than have the military move (read 'break') our things.  For those of you non-military folks, that is a "Do IT Yourself" move.  I began packing boxes literally months before our departure from Washington, but there was much that didn't get done until the "eleventh hour."  This was mostly unavoidable since Zach was traveling for work until the week before our move and had his "fini-flight" three days before our departure. We ended up leaving about two garage stalls worth of stuff we simply didn't have room for and our move became everything but "Do IT Yourself."  So many wonderful friends stopped by to help us; some for an hour or two, others literally helped me for days. I was blown away by the generosity of our friends!  The very people that were shedding tears over our departure, were there, giving of their time to help us get packed up and on the road.  I would be remiss if I didn't give a public "thank you" to Matt and Lindsey Lare, Ginger Karnes, Corey and Rebekah Henwood, Leslie Medved, and Jesse and Katie Ewell.  From packing our kitchen, to cleaning my closet, loading crap only to turn around and unload it that same hour, running to the store for everything from boxes and tape to pizza and beer, bringing our kids road trip goodies and lunch, listening to me have a total meltdown as I chucked an entire cupboard of plastic water bottles across my kitchen through my dining room and into the wall (Yup, that was a proud moment!), moving furniture, expertly packing our trailers and moving truck (My only complaint was that out of 3 trailers they packed my white upholstered chair right next to our lawn mower. Really?!  They assured me it was fine because the mower was in a garbage bag.  But seriously, really?! I think they were just trying to push my anal retentive buttons and give me the final nudge I needed to completely lose my mind.), vacuuming carpets, packing boxes and basically anything else you can think of, they did it.  With giving hearts, gracious spirits, and smiles on their faces.  We have AWESOME friends!  Thank you!  We love you!  And we miss you all!

We had a surprisingly enjoyable trek across the country, staying one night in each of the following: Idaho, Montana, South Dakota, Minnesota, Illinois before arriving at our final destination at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, OH.  Our kids were amazing travelers and my in-laws kept their complaints to a minimum as well. (For the record, we could not have done this trip without them!!)  We took a memorable side trip to Mount Rushmore.  We were thankful for indoor pools at our hotels, and even a water park at one of them (holy sensory overload!).  Our mornings began with continental breakfasts that gave the "big kids" the opportunity to become expert waffle makers and allowed for some experimental cereal concoctions.  The open road, DVD watching, and mingling with truckers filled our afternoons as we caravanned our 26' Penske truck, Zach's F-150 pulling our 7x14 trailer, and my Suburban pulling a 5x8 UHaul 'eastbound and down' across our vast and beautiful nation.  We arrived each evening to a new hotel, ready for dinner, exhausted, and anticipating our family slumber party.  Miraculously, everyone slept through the night each night.  And we were on our way the next morning, exiting our habitation as quietly (or not) as we had entered.

After a solid week on the road, we have traversed approximately 2600 miles through nine states while hauling over 12,000 pounds of "stuff."  Six children and four adults had survived six nights in as many states.  We off-loaded our household goods into a 20x25 storage facility, and thus began our "summer vacation."  One of the three mornings we were at Wright-Patterson AFB, we went "house hunting," to check out the various floor plans available to us, and determine which one would best suit our needs. (Not that any of that actually matters because you end up taking pretty much whatever they can give you when it becomes available.  But, we all play along in this masquerade that is government housing with a smile on our faces, knowing full well that nothing they can provide us will adequately house a family of 6.) Anyway, the kids knew what we were doing and Grandma and Grandad stayed with them while we did so to minimize the distractions and chaos throughout the process. When we returned, we were enthusiastic as we optimistically explained that we had found "the perfect house."  Later that day, we stopped by the storage facility to get some things we needed.  When we returned to the truck, Sophia was crying.  I thought perhaps the reality of the move had finally gotten to her and she was missing her friends, etc.  So I sympathetically asked, "What's the matter, Honey?"  Through her tears she replied, "You were gone all morning, and that was the best you could find?!"  I assured her that the storage facility was not our new home, and the tears subsided.

Four weeks later and we still aren't much closer to having a home, but we are definitely enjoying our travels!  We have seen a lot of family and spent time with many friends in a variety of locations.  And, amongst all the things I have lost track of or misplaced along the way, I am keeping very close tabs on my sense of humor! If I don't laugh; I just might cry and I didn't pack waterproof mascara, so laughter it is.

Marriage is a Partnership; not a Competition

Admittedly, I do not spend much time reading blogs, outside of those written by my friends, let alone randomly commenting on the content of them, but I recently read a blog post on modernmom.com, (5000 dinners) that spurred me to comment and also write this post.

As a military wife to a hubby that is gone 200+ days a year and mother of 4 children, age 5 and under, I know all to well the challenges of caring for children without my partner.  Having cared for children ailing from the stomach flu while I battled it myself just this week while Zach has been on a trip, I know that some days can be downright miserable!  I get tired of cooking every meal, cleaning up every mess and changing every diaper!  Let's face it, much of what I do is not glamorous... AT ALL!  In fact, it is so tedious, sometimes I could (and do) cry.  Not to say, "Poor me," but I think every mom has felt this way at one time or another.

I find myself fighting the urge to resent my husband's "freedom."  Oh to be able to say, "I'm leaving Tuesday and will be back ten days later," and know that not only will the children be cared for in my absence without having to give any instructions or payment to anyone, I will return to happy kids, a tidy house and clean laundry.  Wouldn't it be nice to workout when I want to, eat meals that are prepared for me, and go to bed at my leisure in a room that was cleaned for me while I was away for the day?!  However, I need to remind myself that this is not all that makes up Zach's time spent away.  He is also often working long, tiring days, dealing with issues and solving problems that you couldn't pay me enough to take on.  He risks his safety in the name of defending freedom for those that are unwilling to.  He misses me and the kids, and often, must share in milestones, like seeing Francesca take her first steps or Eva crawl for the first time by viewing a movie that I have emailed to him.  He must comfort me in moments of sadness or frustration through a phone conversation, when all he really wants to do is hold me.  He must express his enthusiasm over daily "joys" like a new belt in Tae Kwan Do for Asher or a stunning ballet performance by Sophia via Skype.   This is no picnic for him.

After reading this blog post, I realize, yet again, how blessed I truly am.  For all that he can't be here for, Zach does a great job when he is home to share in the work of the home and the raising of our children.  He often thanks me for all that I do.  He frequently tells the kids that, "Mommy is the best part of our family."  While I don't necessarily agree, I do appreciate the praise!  He models ways for the kids to express their gratitude for the ways I care for them.  "Mommy will know you are thankful for this meal if you clean your plate."  "Mommy works hard to keep our clothes clean.  Have you thanked her today?"

The author of this particular blog ends her post by stating that she has prepared her family roughly 5000 dinners and her husband has prepared a mere 26.  I am not judging her, I mean, don't we all have a tendency to want to "keep score"?!  But, in the end, marriage is not a competition; it is a partnership.  I cannot control Zach's absence or presence in our home, nor can I control how much he shares in the responsibilities of the home when he is here.  Furthermore, while I can express a desire to receive thanks, I cannot control how frequently he thanks me for what I do.  What I can control is my attitude while I care for my family.  I can take it as a compliment, that Zach can leave for days, weeks, and sometimes months and not seem to notice my daily struggles in our home, because he has so much confidence in my ability and feels I am handling things so well in his absence.  And finally, I can be grateful and thankful for all that he does that I have absolutely no idea about, the countless moments he misses out on and doesn't complain about, and the long days he works tirelessly to provide financially for our family.  Love may be a game of give and take, but marriage is not a competition.  No one has to lose, and that's pretty cool!

"Doctor! Doctor! Give me the News!" Not a Lecture!

On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to take all of my children to the doctor for their physicals.  All at the same time.  Holy Cow!  While this was a blessing for my schedule; it wreaked havoc on my sanity.  The appointments were scheduled back-to-back beginning at 9:20 a.m.  I arrived at 9:27, albeit late, but still within my "military approved" 10 minute "grace" period.  The gal at the desk took my ID and had to "check with the nurse" to see if they would still see us due to my tardiness.  This about sent me over the edge right out of the gate.  These days, if I am less than 15 minutes late to anything, I feel as though I am early.  Getting four children out the door and 25 minutes away at that time of day to arrive only 7 minutes late was nothing less than a small miracle if you ask me! I reminded the receptionist that since I was also the appointment after their 9:20 and the appointment after that, that really, I would only be making myself wait, and reassured her that I didn't mind. :)  She left to discuss matters with the nurse and returned to inform me that they would graciously allow us to be seen.

We then were ushered to the room by two nurses who were, in effect, tag-teaming us.  One took Asher to the scales, while the other led me to the room with the girls.  I was instructed to undress Frankie to her diaper, and the baby too.  I had to nurse the baby during this whole time because the appointments coincided with her next feeding.  As I was nursing Eva, with Soph sharing my chair and reading a book while Frankie explored the room in her diaper, the nurse asked me to fill out a postpartum depression questionnaire.  I politely explained that I had just filled out THE EXACT SAME SURVEY the week before at my six week checkup.  She said, "Yes, and you must fill it out today and at Eva's four month appointment."  I explained that my status had not changed and that the answers would be no different and since I was currently BREASTFEEDING for goodness sake's could I decline the survey.  She was visibly perturbed and showed me the line to initial that I chose to decline it.  At this point the other nurse returned and they were both firing questions at me.  How often does she eat?  Can he jump on one foot?  Does she take a pacifier or suck her thumb?  Does she know at least 3-5 words?  Can he draw a stick figure?  Has he seen a dentist?  Do you lay her to sleep on her back?  I was answering as quickly as possible and struggling to keep track of which child they were talking about.  They took all the kids' vitals and then we were told to wait for the doctor.

She entered, and quite frankly, I hardly even remember their "exam."  If memory serves, it equated to a checking of the eyes, nose, and ears and a listening of the heart with a quick peek in the "diaper area."  Frankie has a runny nose because she is teething, so I got a speech about how to treat a cold.  Thanks Doc!  And then I got a lecture about allowing Eva to sleep through the night.  According to the doctor she was "getting a little long and lean."  Her length percentile (75th) was much greater than her weight percentile (25th).  Mind you she has gained more than 2 pounds in the 8 weeks of her life outside my womb, currently weighs almost 10 pounds, has been consistently "thriving," and is completely healthy, but for some reason this was a sticking point. Why do I care what percentile she is in??  All that is, is a comparison of how my baby girl stacks up against all the other babies in the nation (over 30% of which are considered overweight or obese by 9 months of age).   I was told that if I was going to let her go "so long" at night without eating (a whopping 7 hours) that I needed to wake her to feed her every 2 hours during the day.  Eva is a poky eater, much like my Soph was.  So this would mean that after nursing, burping, and changing her and giving her some "awake" time (I am a "Babywiser" to the core!!)  that she would have a grand total of approximately 30-40 minutes to sleep before I would have to wake her to feed her and do it all over again.  Um, Doctor?  NOT HAPPENIN'!  That is hardly enough time to feed and wipe the rear ends of all the other children that I have!  I just nodded and said, "Okay," knowing full well that I had no intention to do as I was told.

For real?  This doctor must not have children or else never stayed at home with them and nursed them. Right?!  Am I crazy?  Don't answer that. :)  Perhaps our time could have been better spent actually giving the children their physical examinations rather than giving their mom a lecture, you think?!  I didn't take the time to point any of this out, as I am pretty certain it would have just fallen on deaf ears and because I also needed to visit the lab for blood draws, the pharmacy for prescriptions, and the immunization clinic for shots, and because I didn't want to have to feed the baby a second time in the medical building.  I just agreed to everything, except taking the survey, and went on my merry way.

I could go on and on about this experience, but would rather go to bed because MY BABY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! Sweet dreams! :)

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For!

Waiting...

The Hall Family
Together Again!

He's home!  My husband is home!  I am thrilled!  I am relieved!  I am simply joyful! I am excited to see his face and squeeze him tightly.  I love having "real," complete family fun again.  I enjoy having someone (over the age of 5) to talk to in the evenings and hug in the mornings.  I am just happy to have my family together and have life be as it should be.  We made it!  Some days it felt like we wouldn't, but we did, all 6 of us.  We are so blessed and lucky!  Although I am not writing much, I thought I would share some photos and local news coverage of the homecoming night.

Family hug!

First hug from Dad all year!

Homecomings are truly some of the best moments of my life! The emotion is overwhelming and indescribable!  Thanks to our wonderful friend, Lori, for coming out in the middle of the night in the cold to capture these moments for our family!

Daddy brought gifts for everyone

So happy to have my pilot home!!

Zach was thrilled that Frankie recognized him!

Asher's first question was, "Daddy, do you get to come home with us?
 To our house?

Click the link to see local news coverage
Aside from getting my name wrong, the segment was really sweet!

At last!

Are We There Yet?!

The paper chain is getting shorter!  And in our house, that can mean only one thing:  Daddy is coming home soon!  Groceries have been purchased and meals have been planned for Zach's first week of "real food" this year.  The frige is stocked with Z's favorite beverages.  The "Welcome Home" banner has been made and hung proudly above the garage.  Signs have been made and miniature American flags have been bought for the children to hold and wave as they anxiously await his arrival at the base.  I have purchased his "Homecoming Gift" and it has been delivered with care to the house.  (The kids are sworn to secrecy, and it appears that they may just be able to keep this one!) The house is scheduled to be cleaned; I have bought Zach's favorite "mandles" (a term borrowed from our friends, the Baker's, short for 'Man Candles'), Mommy is scheduled for some grooming appointments to make myself look presentable after months of not caring what I look like, the lawn has been mowed, trimmed, fertilized, thatched, and aerated; and flowers have been planted.  We. Are. Ready!

The only glitch, all three kiddos are sick!  WHAT?!  After months of everyone being well, I have made two trips to Urgent Care in the last three days.  Coughs, sore throats, stuffy noses, goopy eyes (I am pretty sure that is the technical name for it!), and overall lousy feeling little ones!  Story of my life!  Fortunately, no one has been running fevers and throat cultures were negative for strep throat.  All three kids have a prescription for eye drops and they appear to be "on the mend."  Francesca seems to have been struck the worse, waking with eyes "mattered" closed and nostrils crusted over each time she wakes from a rest.  Poor baby!  I am hoping and praying that we are all back to "normal" for the big day.  Lord knows I don't want to drag three sick kids to welcome home their daddy.  But, in the end, in sickness and/or in health, we will just be happy to be together again!

God Help America: some random venting

On top of the daily activities that bring their fair amount of stress, we have had the "opportunity" over the past few weeks to worry about whether or not we would continue to be paid for Zach's service to our country while waiting to see if our government would "shut down." This whole situation had me frustrated, to say the least.  I tried to remain positive and hopeful as the topic seemed to dominate the few moments I do get to share on the phone with my husband while he is deployed.  As the wonderful provider that he is, Zach was obviously concerned and stressed about whether or not our family would be taken care of.  We didn't want to be alarmist about the situation and get caught up in the sensationalism of the situation as presented by some of the media sources out there, but we needed to be realistic about the fact that we may receive reduced pay or cease to receive a paycheck at all for a while.  I have to believe that we are not unique, and that many, if not most, other military families felt the same.

There are many wonderful blessings and opportunities that come from being a military family.  We are honored and proud of Zach's service, and I also feel that I (and the kids for that matter) am serving in some capacity too, and for that I have an added sense of pride.  For those that know my husband, you know that he has a strong feeling of duty to country and enjoys being part of something that is far greater than himself.  He executes this through his strive toward excellence in being an officer (and a darn good one if I do say so myself!) in the United States Air Force.  As many of you also know, we are in the middle of a 4+ month deployment, so this news came at a particularly difficult time for our family.

I love this country and I feel that the United States is the best nation in the world, but what is going on?!  This behavior by our government leaders is absolutely shameful!  It is selfish and disgusting!  I am disappointed and downright angry that our politicians could do this to families, especially those actively serving at war!  I realize that they finally came to an agreement to make some budget cuts and salvage some programs at the same time that seemed to make both Republicans and Democrats satisfied, but the fact that they waited until the 11th hour to do so, is inexcusable!  The amount of concern that they provided during their "stand still" was completely unnecessary and avoidable.

But, in the end, what can we do?  Really?  Has Washington gone so far down the toilet that it is un-salvageable?  Is the corruption so pervasive that it is unrealistic to think that it can be eradicated?  I am not a very politically-minded person and, quite frankly,  usually follow politics so far as they relate to me or my family, but this situation has reminded me that I have a responsibility to get informed, stay informed, and make informed decisions when it comes to casting my vote(s) on election day.  I pray for our nation and its leaders, but I also need to pray for its citizens (including myself) that we will make wise choices when it comes to choosing (granted, sometimes from a very crappy selection) representatives at the local, state and national level.  I don't know what "the answer" is or if one even exists, but things cannot continue to go on this way.  God bless America and God help us too!